GFYS
by TmcT
Summary: NAOMILY- - - Errrm, not really sure... First fanfic ever. Figured i should give something back to all the amazing writers who have entertained me... : Some/LOTS of bad language and perhaps higher rating further on...
1. Chapter 1

**Yeah? Well Go F**k Yourself**

March 2010:

_Did she really think i would be so timid and naive as to let myself be sucked in by those eyes?_

_Those beautiful, big, b... NO! I'm nobody's bitch! Get a hold of yourself! _

_I pull back, just as I feel the slight touch of her lips against mine., a palm pressing softly against my cheek. I feel her hesitate, trying to put me at ease but still, I stupidly withdraw again. I sense her pulling back and i WANT to pull her into me but it's already too late. Total confusion takes place in her eyes. Then within seconds a slight recognition of my fear and then a total dominance and anger takes over. She's well pissed. Fuck._

Naomi:

That was the first time i ever wanted to kiss someone. No, it was the first time I wanted to kiss anyone. No, who am i kidding, it was the first time I really wanted to kiss someone OR anyone, it just happened to be a girl.

A girl.

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!

That's so fucked up I don't know what to do. I mean, i'm soooo not gay but I'm the one who tried to kiss her. Kiss HER!

Fucking shit!

**Chapter 1.**

April 2010:

Emily: 

My twin sister is seriously THE epitome of `straight'. Sure, I know we're kinda different but Katie just seems, I don't know... well actually I do, she's straight. And to be honest, a total slut... I can say that, I'm her sister!

She's got the hot boyfriends, the hot shags or just the hot hook-ups.

To be honest though, they're not hot. Well... not my definition.

Maybe I'm being too mean. I'm sure they're the stereotypical `hot, good and fit' boyfriend type but personally, I just don't get it.

I think i'm being well judgemental. I mean, really, they are quite appealing AND i can appreciate the muscle tone so it's only fair I give one of them a fair trial... right?

So, I give in. Apparently tonight, my night will be `rocked' by Andy. (Why all` fit' boys names have to end in `Y' is beyond me, but i'm given no chance) Apparently this boy is Danny's (Katie's latest fling's) brother and a senior at our school... oh, sooo impressive! Not!

So here we are at some nondescript, shit pub on a Friday night. Katie, with her `ohmygod the sexiest guy ever' Danny and me with `errr,yeah, Danny's brother...whatshisname'

Halfway through trying to explain to me why the Bristol Rovers are THE best... Blah blah blah (The ant I've been watching for the better half of an hour seems about to take the crumbs I've been giving it, into the salt and pepper shakers to score the winning goal of the premiership) is interupted by Katie. Andy was oblivious but realistically i'm sure my little ant would have beaten ANY opponent had he been given an additional 30 seconds.

`Em...EM...EMMMMM!?"

I look up at Katie's insistence with a glum face.

`Wot?!' she asks me with a look that could kill.

'You missed the premiership goal' I reply with a sigh whilst looking at my tiny defeated ant that seemed to have choked in the final seconds against some bigarse bull-ant who came from under the table and was totally offside in my opinion.

'Wot?!' she asks again, slightly unnerved that she may have missed an important goal and therefore seemed a lesser WAG.

I shake my head, knowing she won't understand. ` Nothing' my reply takes me back to Katie's reality.

'So, we're going home yeah?' I ask, trying to keep the pleasure off me face.

I should know my sister, really i should but it came as a completely unwelcome surprise when i was told;

`Nah Babes, we're hanging with Danny and Andy tonight. A friend has a house party going on and the boys will be well sure to take care of us tonight! And hey Ems, if you're lucky, maybe tomomorrow morning too!'

**'KATIE, YOU CAN GO AND GET F...'**

**'FINAL CALL FOR DRINKS!' **the publican interupts me with a glance in my direction and a slightly sympathetic look.

Fucking hell...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2. **

April 2011:

Emily: 

'Do you really want to get your balls kicked, punched, jabbed or sliced'?

I looked on astonished. Apparently Effy can make a threat even more intimidating.

'I..um...' Cook looks slightly astounded but then follows it up with a shit eating grin...

'Fuckin' oath i do! If i'm gunna attempt to get into yer knickers, it's worth every last breath... innit?'

I see Effy's scowl soften and i KNOW i won't see either of them til tomorrow (and if I do, it will be accidental and NOT any sort of image I want burnt into my eyes)

Cook takes five strides across the room to gather up his Effy prize but after three steps, he stops all of a sudden and settles her feet on the floor.

`WHAT the Fu..' she starts to yell at him until both of them look at each other and then back at me.

'Oh yes, there's that' Effy sighs without malice and releases herself from Cook, still looking at me.

'Yeah...' I say, confused to fuck and backing away warily, 'I'm just gunna tottle off and find an envigorating ant'

I let out a frustrated sigh as i realise why everyone of my friends eyes are directed at me. The `date night' last year had proved to be an even more of a shit time when Andy decided that regardless of my protests, he was convinced I was `up for it'. I was scared as hell and am most appreciative when Cook, Tony, Effy and even Katie heard my screams and came to my rescue before anything went down but they've all been acting well strange around me and more than slightly protective.

I get about 3 steps before I'm crashed tackled by Cook.

'Sorrrrryyyyyyyyy Emilioman, I can't let you do that!'

I regain my orientation of up and down somewhat whilst being tackled and rolled around and I am pissed off!

First: I DO NOT NEED my friends giving up their gross, happy, drunken shags cos I will be by myself while they do the deed.

Second: See above.

Third: The feeling of Cook's cock against my thigh is more than enough to make me want to cut my own leg off and beat him to death with it.

Fourth: As I am rolled around, I glimpse a flash of peroxide blonde in the corner that seems to have a red aura surrounding her and I realise this is so not the image I want to convey.

Fuckitty Fuck Frig!

April 2010:

Naomi:

I heard the rumours. It would be hard not to. No, i'm not talking about the rumours of me and Emily in the backyard of that party. I could give two shits about what people saw, or rather what they **almost** saw. I'm more than used to tolerating deadshits and idiots, i've lived with my mother for 16 years and the amount of tolerance and patience I've exhibited throughout that time what with her communal household and `free loving' would give Ghandi a run for his money.

Nope, I'm talking about the rumours of what happened to Emily with that tossbag wannabe football player.

I've always liked Emily. I met her on her first day at my high school, year 9 . Actually, i didn't meet her, i saw her on her first day. Standing next to her new locker, twisting her hair, picking at a nail with a slight smile on her face, looking like she was ready to take on this strange new world. Then her twin sister Katie came storming through the hall and obliterated any chances of Emily even attempting to make herself know. You could almost see her shrining into the shadows. But i never forgot.

That face was one of amazement and possibilites. Of fun times and friends. Of... independance. It was like an hour would have made a difference to who she would become, or just **ONE **person coming up, introducing themselves, becoming a friend. But I didn't. Who knows who Emily would have become if I did. If she had something or someone who was just for her and not just a flowoff from Katie. But I didn't.

I was always rather shy but then, I became a stubborn bitch. I became friends with no-one. I ignored, or flat out refused the birthday parties, christmas parties, class parties, everything!

I was 15 and had no reason to resent her but I did. How could she allow herself to be overpowered, overshadowed and overowned to someone just because they looked similar!? And they did! Well they still do, they're fucking twins for fucks sake... but they are not identical. Not at all.

Katie was, or IS... well, she's just Katie. A sharp tongue, one hell of an attitude.. she's just Katie Fucking Fitch! Don't get me wrong, i'm NOT a fan.

Whereas Emily is... fuck, where do I start? I've seen Emily glare at me when i've challenged her in a classroom grammar debate. I've seen Emily re-enacting Tibalt in English with such passion that she would make Baz Luhrman sorry he didn't cast her. I've seen Emily wrap a baby bandicoot that she found on the oval in her school jumper. I've seen her wag school to take said bandicoot to the vet knowing she would get a fuck load of detention for leaving school grounds. I've seen her cry when a magpie died after hitting the window of our classroom. I've seen her in so many different scenarios but i've gone to pains to ensure she doesn't see me. Well sure, she's seen me. But i make sure she doesn't know me.

She's tried, a couple of times but I hold my bitchy exterior to make sure she doesn't get close to me. Ahem yeah, until the night i tried to kiss her... but that doesn't count. Cos I was a complete fucking shite pussy.

I was a complete fuck. I freaked out, pulled away and that was that. Game over. I don't think i've ever seen anyone so shitted off.

So that morning, when I was told, well actually I wasn't told, I overheard. I overheard that Emily had almost been date raped.

I lost my shit completely.

Apparently when you seek a senior student out, stab him in the balls with scissors and stand there yelling abuse as he looses the ability to produce sperm , it gives the school the right to expel you... and the police to charge you...and also to admit you to a psychiatric ward. Who would figure right?

Fuckoes! Totally worth it! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3.**

April 2010:

Emily:

I guess you never really know someone huh? Well, actually I didn't really **know** her in the first place but I can't say I expected her to have such an insanely violent streak.

If i'm completely honest, I had no problems at all with what she did. Andy's a complete tosser and the fact that he can no longer procreate is like God giving me a wink and a high five but perhaps a certain level of subtlety on her behalf may have been more appropriate... I don't know.

Since she started here, she's been a complete mystery wrapped up in a beautiful blonde package. That's how I see her. The rest of my school are not so generous in their opinion. The words `weird, loser, fucking bitch, snob' are thrown around easily by everyone in our year and alot of the other students to describe her. Oh and now we can add `pyschotic cock cutter' into the mix. Fantastic.

I think there is so much more to Naomi Campbell. Maybe more so than even she herself realizes. Yes Em, in your infinite wisdom of having known her just over a year, a total of two coversations, one debate, countless glances and an `almost kiss' makes you an expert on the matter. Ah yes, the the kiss that almost was.

I'm pretty sure i'm gay (the Andy fiasco reaffirmed that for me) and I have no problems with that but there is no way in hell i'm going to tell my family or friends. Yep, I just ooze confidence and self worth don't I? It's hard to be ok with yourself when you've lived in the shadow of your sister your whole life, being judged and compared.

So, there we are at Effy's house early last month. Her parents are away, the music's blaring, massive amounts of alcohol and small bags of pills are making their way around the living room. I wouldn't say it's not my scene, I like spending time with my friends, have developed a close affinity to vodka and have no problems popping the occasional recreational drug. I'm just not down with the sweaty, grindy boys who think the twin thing would be the hottest experience ever. So yeah, after the first Beavis and Butthead impression of `huh uhhu huuuh, twins' from the group of guys sitting on the counter, I made my way out of the kitchen swiping a full bottle of vodka with my left hand and my right giving the bird to the tossers. I threaded my way between the masses in the hallway and living room, stepping over Cook's sprawled legs and out into the warm evening air.

`Thirsty much?' Effy appears next to me with a spliff between her lips and glances down at the bottle in my hand.

`Wasted much?' I counter back, noticing her glazed, red eyes.

She shrugs and offers me a drag which I gladly accept.

Effy has been my best friend since Kindergarten. We were buddied up on our first day and have been in the same class almost every year since. She and Katie became close at the beginning of high school and often go `on the pull' together as clearly, I have no interest in doing so. She's the only person I have ever told that I thought I might be into girls. In typical Effy fashion, she scoffed and said `Do you reckon?' Apparently she had an inkling but wanted me to come to terms with it myself. She's also the only person who knows that I may have a teeny crush on Naomi. Again, the response was a scoff followed by `Do you reckon?'

She throws an arm loosely around my shoulders and we stand there in comfortable silence, watching the sun slowly dipping below the horizon. Eventually Effy gives a contented sigh and reaches into her pocket, bringing out a matchbox and giving it a small shake.

I smile, the rattle the small box elicits is a familiar and friendly sound. Opening it up, she slips out a small white pill and brings it up to my lips. I obediently stick my tongue out and she places it lightly in front of my tongue bar. (Yep, piercings are my little attempt at rebellion and individuality. There is NO way Katie would stick metal in her body)

I swallow as I watch Effy reach back into the box and then frown slightly as she opens my hand and places another pill in my palm.

`I'm right thanks Eff, one will do me. I don't want the vodka to get ignored' I grin and give the bottle a shake.

`It's not for you.' She tilts her head in the direction of the garden path.

`Eff... what...?' I ask, utterly confused.

`You might find a...friend.' She smirks, nods in the same direction and turns back into the house.

`Fucking hell.' I mutter. I love Effy to death but seriously, the mysterious thing wears a little thin.

I sigh while pocketting the pill, take a swig from my bottle and head towards the garden path. I have no idea what awaits me but if there is one thing i've learnt, it's to trust Effy.

I make it to the bottom of the garden and pull up short with a slight gasp at the sight that greets me. Naomi is lying on the grass with both hands under her head, earphones fitted snugly into her ears and gazing up at the tree she is under. She's oblivious to my presence and I can't help the small smile that appears on my face as I watch her mouth mime to the music as her foot keeps in time to the beat.

I take a deep breathe and walk towards her. It takes a few seconds but she glances at me and sits up with a start, headphones falling.

`Hi.' I say with false bravado.

`Hey.' She replies warily.

`Do you mind if I...' I gesture to the grass next to her.

She glances down to where I'm pointing and then looks back up at me, saying nothing.

`If I sit.' I finish, shuffling to the other foot.

She continues to look up at me, still saying nothing.

`Right.' I spin around and am about to storm off when I hear her cough behind me.

`It's wet.'

`Um, what?' I turn back.

`The grass. It's wet there. I um, I spilt my drink.' She stutters.

`Ok. Uh, what about there?' I point to her other side, `Was your uncoordination limited or is the general vicinity a no-go zone?'

Her eyes narrow slightly but I see the slightest twitch in her lips.

`No, there's fine.' She nods and holds my gaze.

`Great!' My attempt to sit down gracefully is quickly thrown out the window as I manage to catch the toe of my right shoe on a mound of grass, try to regain my balance by sticking out my left foot which neatly makes me ankle tap myself. I go down in a heap. At least my landing is soft. Of course it is, I landed right on Naomi's lap.

The look on her face is complete shock and I can only imagine mine is one of complete dismay. The seconds tick by as we stare at each other until Naomi breaks the silence by clearing her throat.

`Ahem, Emily. Should we discuss the uncoordination factor now or do you want to wait until you remove yourself from my lap?'

`Oh yeah, of course.' I stutter and feel the blood streaming up my neck and flushing my face in humiliation.

Naomi raises her eyebrows at me and I realise I haven't moved.

`Fuck, right... shit sorry.' I come to my senses and start to scramble off her lap.

`Wait!' Naomi shouts and pulls me back onto her lap.

I grab onto her shoulders to steady myself and look at her with utter confusion.

`Um, wrong side. It's wet there, remember?' She says quietly.

I'm more than aware of our close proximity as it dawns on me that my hands are still resting on her shoulders and more so, her hands are lightly gripping my waist.

`Right, thanks.' I smile softly and together, we manage to deposit me on the other side, dry but embrassed as hell.

About a minute of uncomfortable silence follows as we both avoid looking at each other.

`At least tell me you're drunk and that's what contributed to your lack of understanding the laws of gravity?' Naomi breaks the silence with smirk.

I hold up the almost full bottle of vodka that somehow managed to stay intact.

`Sadly, no. That's just a secret talent I have.' I sigh with a grin.

I hear her give a slight chuckle next to me as I unscrew the cap on the bottle and tilt my head back, taking a big swig and grimacing at the burn in my throat before passing it over to her.

`Tah.' she says gratefully before mirroring my action.

`So, I don't usually see you at these kind of things.' I jerk my head back in the direction of the party.

`No.' she agrees thoughtfully but doesn't elaborate. I don't push it, not my business anyway.

We pass the bottle back and forth for the next little while, making small talk about school, teachers, students.

`You should come more often. They can be... fun.' I nudge her with my arm.

She just looks at me strangely.

`Well, I mean... it depends what your definition of fun is of course.' I say hurridly, `feral guys, shit music. But then there are the upsides of alcohol, drugs and red heads throwing themselves into your lap!' my confidence seems to be growing with each swig.

`Yeah.' she chuckles with a slight nod, `speaking of which.' She grabs a crumpled cigarette packet from her pocket and pulls out a spliff. Lighting it she takes a massive drag and holds it deep in her lungs. She tilts her head up, closes her eyes and lets the smoke stream from her lips. I feel my jaw drop slightly and I can't tear my eyes from her face. Fucking sexy. I shake my head slightly, how is it I'm getting turned on by smoke?! Oh, that would be the MDMA coursing its way through my system. Fuck, forgot about that!

`Emily?'

As my eyes come back into focus and my brain starts to function again, I realise Naomi is looking straight at me.

`Sorry.' I stammer and without asking, pluck the spliff from her fingers.

`Please, go right ahead.' She says in amusement.

I take a deep drag while reaching into my pocket to retrieve the forgotten second pill. As I exhale, I raise it up to Naomi's eye level. She narrows her eyes suspiciously for the briefest of seconds before recognition spreads over her face.

She licks her lips (hot), opens her mouth, slowly sticks her tongue out (HOT!) and licks the pill from my fingers (FUCKING HOT!) never breaking eye contact. Thank you Effy, you evil genius!

I swallow deeply and audibly and just know my face is the same colour as my hair.

`Thanks.' she says softly but I'm lost for words so I just nod like an idiot.

She smiles and reaches down for the bottle of vodka.

`Drink?' She offers with a smirk. I nod again and grab the bottle, our fingers touch briefly and I hear a strange sound coming from deep in my throat. I cough in a lame attempt to cover it up and take a massive swig. Relishing the burn in the back of my throat and glad to have a distraction. Naomi takes another hit from the spliff and lies down on the grass, popping one headphone into her ear and holding out the other one towards me.

I smile, shrug, take the proffered plug and lie down next to her.

`And what are we listening to?' I query as i settle it into my ear.

`Shuffle mode.' she closes her eyes and for the next half hour we lie comfortably. The tunes ranging from Portishead, RHCP, Metallica and even Skepta. If I wasn't so content with the feeling of the soft grass against my back, I would be itching to dance. When Regina Spektor's `Samson' comes on I smile.

`Such a beautiful voice. You and Effy should hang out, she's her biggest fan.'

Naomi opens her eyes and looks over at me with an expression I can't put my finger on.

`What's she like? Effy.'

`Amazing, intelligent, deep, loving.' I rattle off with a fond smile.

`You must really love her.' Naomi nods and sits up causing the earphone to pop out of my ear.

`Yeah. I do.' I reply simply.

`So, um. How long have you been together?' Naomi asks after she's cleared her throat.

`Wait, what?' I sit up in disbelief.

`It's ok. I won't tell anyone, though I'm pretty sure everyone already knows.' She shrugs.

`Wait. No... we're not. I mean, she's not even... I mean. No, we're not together!' My brain can't seem to form a proper sentence.

`Oh.' she replies and looks... relieved? What the hell?!

`Why would you...?' I trail off.

She turns to look at me with a slight frown.

`Well it's not really a stretch is it. You two are together all the time. You're super affectionate with each other. You're both well hot and the biggest giveaway Emily... you're gay.' It's not a question, it's a statement.

`I, um...I...' my shoulders slump and I sigh `I... I don't know.'

`Hey.' she says softly and gently places her hand on my bicep, `It's ok.'

I look up into her eyes. My God, they're crystal blue. I feel her thumb start to rub my arm slightly and my eyes automatically dart down to watch. When I look back up, she's still watching me. Hang on, she called me hot. She's rubbing my arm and staring into my eyes. What the FUCK? Naomi's gay?!

Next thing I know, she's leaning her face down to mine. I can feel her breath against my face and somehow my hand has made it's way up to her cheek. Time is moving so slowly as our lips make the slightest contact. Then, nothing. She's pulling away with a look of horror on her face. Multiple emotions wash over me within a millisecond, confusion, rejection and anger. I unsteadily push myself off the ground to my feet, not giving a shit about my dignity anymore. I stand for long enough to shoot her another death stare, turn on my heel and storm up the garden path.

Fuck you Campbell.


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N: Wellllll, don't know how this story is going down... have to admit the first ever review was rather... demoralizing. My first fic was going to be over before it started.**

**However, I realized I can only write as me and be me...Fiction is just that, fiction. So I decided to keep going cos I got notifications that ppl were following my story (new to this ppl so I can only assume it's cos they wanna read it yeh?) But tah to Guest? for saying to keep updating :) and tah for those following ?**

**NB:**

**Stacks on = awesome game where everyone jumps in a human pile (if you're at the bottom, not so awesome)**

**ECT= Electro Shock Therapy **

**Screw= Keeper/Minder/Warder (Keeper in pysch ward)**

**CHAPTER 4.**

April 2011:

Emily:

Fuckitty Fuck Frig!

I scramble even harder to get out from underneath Cook but resistance seems futile as my struggling is soon taken as an invitation for a game of `stacks on' by my friends. Fred pile drives himself into Cook's side with a deep laugh, Pandora lets out a whoop and jumps onto Fred's back. I briefly see a swirl of leopard print and a flash of braces as Katie and JJ join in. To give Cook his due, he's regained a position that completely protects me from bearing the weight of 5 people atop of me so despite myself, I can't help but laugh along with them.

The only members of our `crew' that remain removed from our wriggling mass are Tommo who is busy spinning his decks in another room and Effy who just looks on with her `too cool for school' smirk. I crane my neck out from the bottom of the pack and twist it to the last known blonde location but... nothing. Either she's fucked off after seeing our little display of friendship or it was just in my imagination that she was even there to begin with. Most likely it's the latter.

I've seen her constantly for the last year. At school, parties, the pub, my bathroom... you name it, I've seen her there. But then it always turns out to be someone else. Sadly, once it was even a golden labrador. Yep, Naomi.

After the assault last year, it was big news for about a month. The rumours spread like wildfire. Ranging from students claiming she had stabbed Andy with a hunting knife, shot his balls off and even one girl who swore to me that she had personally witnessed Naomi using a bandsaw to permanently immasculate him in the woodwork room. Tossers.

But as expected the rumours died down, her name is rarely used nowadays and people largely forgot about her. Not me though, I never forgot. So while I can't explain why I seem to see her all the time, there's something about Ms Naomi Campbell that has kept a hold on me. Hmmmmmm...

I came out about 6 months ago and am pretty chuffed with the response I received from my friends.

Pandora took it well and then tried to set me up with ever girl she knew, regardless if they were gay or not. Since I've explained the entire concept of being a lesbian, she's calmed down with her match making attempts. Slightly...

Effy already knew of course and Tommo was lovely. He had just smiled at me and said `It is fine. I am black, you are lesbian. This is the way we are made, yes.' Fred was stoned at the time and I think he has been since so it's really not an issue for him at all.

JJ was slightly upset but I found out later it was only because he had a bit of a crush on me but he has never taken me to task for it and out friendship has remained as solid as ever. Katie was a bit of a challenge which was expected. She thought it was her fault because she had been so insistent on our double date with Andy and Danny. It took some convincing but she eventually realised that it wasn't a result of an attempted rape, rather it was just who I was and always had been. She told me one night that it should have been obvious to her given the amount of female posters I had hanging on my side of our room.

The biggest surprise was Cook. James Cook, that hard core, womanizing, bastard with an `I don't give a fuck' attitude. I ended up telling him last, only because it's fucking hard to get a quiet second with him, let alone enough time to tell him my deepest, darkest secret. We were sat in the gutter outside his Uncles pub, sharing a spliff while watching the traffic move slowly on a Friday night.

He had pulled me into the softest, most tender hug I had ever felt and held me there for a full minute. When we pulled apart he had looked me straight in the eyes, not even attempting to hide the tears that had pooled there. He had told me that I was the bravest person he had ever known and that no matter what, whatever the cost he would protect me and be there for me. It was a beautiful moment with no jealousy, no sexual inuendo and no doubt in my mind that he meant every word of it. I was lost for words so leaned up and kissed him softly on his cheek.

Of course the moment was ruined seconds later when Katie came stumbling out of the pub, gave Cook enough of a drunken kick in the arse to send him sprawling into the street while laughingly slurring how he didn't stand a chance with her `lezzer sister'. Cook had howled with laughter and love, brushed himself off while getting back to his feet and grabbed both our hands.

`Twins eh? Yeah, the Cookie Monster has enough for a double up!'

Katie wrenched her hand away, poked her tongue out at him and strutted ahead of us back into the pub.

I tugged on his hand to pull him to a halt. `You're a fantastic man Cook.' I stated quietly with slight awe.

`Don't you fookin' tell nobody Red. My reputation will be shattered man.' He threw his arm around my shoulder, gave me a wink and lead us into the swinging pub door.

April 2011:

Naomi:

The spilt second my brain took to send signals to my legs perhaps saved me from a 20 year stint at her Majesty's finest. After 11 months of being councilled, medicated, taunted, assaulted and the occasional session of ECT, I don't know how I would have lasted 20 years but for some stupid fucking reason...I would have done it. I would have done it to save her. Again.

I just saw red. Well, actually I saw a couple of shades of red. The first was Emily's hair when I first walked in and the second was the rest of her body seemingly being attacked (seriously, what IS it with this girl and trouble?!) by some arsehole in the middle of a fucking party.

I've been out of Pleasantview Clinic for just under a month now and for anyone thinking of going there for a vacation, I can tell you it's neither `Pleasant' nor is there a `view'. Well perhaps I should clarify, it IS pleasant if you're a screw and there IS a view of a lake if you can focus through the barbed wire windows and your drug addled brain.

Otherwise... nope.

So there I was. At this stupid party on a Friday night, 3 weeks after my release date. There was only one person who had visited me at Pleasantview on a regular basis (apart from my brief and the cops) and we had become `friends'. I don't really understand how it happened or even why, but we did and I relish that friendship cos it's the only thing I have now. So I was told in no uncertain terms that I had to get my `arse there and at least pretend to have a good time!'

So I did... and that's what I walked in on...

April 2011:

Emily:

Finally, our (their) game of `Stacks On' finished and I was able to peel myself off the floor.

I stood up straight, brushed my clothes down and addressed my friends. `Well that was...enjoyable.' I was met with a chorus of laughs and a random tap in the ribs by Pandora.

`We were almost getting lezzo there Em!' she chuckles.

(Mental note: re-educate Panda about lesbianism) I just smile from one side of me face and nod at her.

Involuntarily, I turn back to the corner I had `seen' Naomi in, no still not there.

Cook approaches me with a smile. `Alright Em?'

`All fine Cookie.' I smile at him and give him a hug, `Seeing things is all.'

His face forms a frown. `Did we hurt you? Shit, I'm so sorry!' he starts to look for bruising on my head.

`Cook! I'm fine!' I give him a reassuring smile.

Effy appears next to me left shoulder. `Cook, I believe you promised me something?'

A slight frown appears on his face but I can see Effy from the corner of my eye and her eyebrows are up and giving him the `piss off for a bit' look.

'I'll see you in the living room yeah?' he says to both of us with a determined glance.

We both nod compliantly and watch him warily move into the next room.

`Spliff.' Effy states, grabs my hand and takes me through the house and out the front door.

We sit down on the stoop in silence and Effy lights her joint.

I can hear Katie inside, yelling at Tommo for some music request and as much as I love my sister, her choice of music is well... shit. I'm deperately hoping Tommo can occupy her with something to keep her distracted that isn't a Boy Band of ANY type.

I can't help but smile as I see Effy passing the joint to me. I take a deep drag and hold it down.

`So you're finally going to sleep with Cook then yeah?' I ask as I finally exhale the smoke.

'Is that a problem?' Effy takes the spliff back.

I hesitate before replying. `No. Just, he's not the arsehole you might think he is but he'll probably BE the arsehole you expect him to be.'

Effy stays silent but I can hear her dragging on the joint.

`Do you think everyone shows who they are Emily?' she asks after awhile.

I frown because I know Effy too well not to try to find her hidden meaning. I snatch the spliff back off her. `If you're talking about me Eff, you can get fucked. I'm trying to show who I am, I came out to almost everyone, I'm being honest with myself AND everyone, well except for...' I trail off, `Eff, I CAN'T tell my parents right now, they wouldn't unders...'

Effy interupts me. `Yeah, I wasn't talking about you Emily. But well done with the rehearsal parental come out speech.' She's smirking and using her fingers as inadverted commas.

'I KNOW people don't show who they are!' I yell in frustration,`Between me, you, Cook and even Katie, NOBODY shows who they are. What's your fucking point!?'

Effy smirks, takes the spliff back, sucks back the ramainder and grinds it out under her shoe, `Oh...no point Emily. Just seeing how open you are is all.'

I look at Effy in utter confusion and a slight tinge of anger. `For once Effy. Just for ONCE. Will you stop these bullshit puzzle games and just be straight forward? You have something to say, fucking say it yeah?!'

I grab her cigarette packet and angrily pull out another of her joints.

'Fair enough.' I hear her say sounding very satisfied, `Emily, you remember Naomi, right?'

I look up from my attempt to light the spliff.

'Ergh, hi nnnn...splif...' gulp

FUCKK!


End file.
